Coaching 101: Listen to Make Connections
Reflect on your listening habits so you can increase your effectiveness as a coach.
How do coaches listen?
Coaches listen to what is between and beyond the words. They focus on key themes, connections, emotions, or implications found in the speaker's words. When listening like a coach, you’re paying attention to the broader context of the speaker's words rather than getting caught up in unnecessary details. Coaches don’t get bogged down by a laundry list of complaints about someone’s coworkers. They hone in on the speaker’s concerns about team culture and a lack of connectedness. As they listen, coaches clear their minds, centering their focus entirely on the speaker.
Notice the Way You Listen
In today’s frenetic world, even the most skilled coaches lose their focus from time to time. When you think about the way you typically engage in conversations, what listening missteps do you notice yourself making?
Disengaging - You find yourself thinking about something else during the conversation and then have to reorient yourself when you realize your mind wandered off.
Problem Solving - When a speaker shares their challenge, you notice yourself thinking about solutions and how you would address the situation if you were in their position.
Conforming - Out of a genuine interest in building connection, you are tempted to bring up anecdotes or examples from your own experience that parallel what the speaker shares.
Intruding - Try as you might, you can’t seem to stop yourself from interrupting or finishing the other person’s sentences, offering them a word or phrase you think they were looking for.
Questioning - As the speaker shares their thoughts, your mind floods with questions and your curiosity gets the better of you. You skip past Pausing, Reflecting, and Framing - jumping straight to Inquiry.
